What a Fun, Sexy Time For You

callingapathy @ 2007-11-03T12:59:00

2007-11-03T17:01:49Z

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice; you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black

You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice; you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice; you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

eighth grade me is killing twelfth grade me right now

2007-01-08T23:29:50Z

No, I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an opened mind... I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train! I want to get off and go home again!
I can't take the speed it's moving in
...I know I can,
But, honestly, won't someone stop this train?

this is the first day of my life

2006-08-13T00:11:12Z

I guess yesterday was one of the most wonderful days imaginable. Add two of my best friends ever, the HUGEST CAMPUS IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE FOREVER AND EVER AMEN, Urban Outfitters, some scrumptious noodles, and plenty of sidewalk chalk... simmer for the better part of a Friday and maybe you'll get the idea.
And if you still don't, we made sure to thoroughly document it.

Haley, Lance, and I experimented a lot with the self-timer on Haley's camera. We ended up pretty good at it... mostly because we're all completely gorgeous individuals. :P Anyway... the afternoon at Michigan State University commenced with about eighty billion hours of lectures about how they think MSU is essentially the best place in the entire world.

They were right.

One of the first places we came upon on our self-made walking tour was this amazing bridge that was had really cool, artistic graffitti everywhere. Both sides of the bridge, no gang signs or racial slurs. There was a blue and purple phoenix, though.

Immediately I decided to wade across the water under the bridge to get to the other side, but after some careful surveying by Lance and I (shown here) we decided it was way too deep. I went in anyway.

I took this sweet picture of Haley next to our favorite part of the grafitti.

Then she took this one of me in the same spot.

Combining our favorite photographic elements: self-timing and graffitti shots.

Haley brought along a box of sidewalk chalk and we left our mark everywhere we went. Everything from "YOU SHALL KNOW OUR VELOCITY!!!" to "Live Your Life... AE Jeans" to Death Cab quotes to our cell phone numbers. Haley wrote out the entire chorus of "Maps" on the sidewalk next to Grand River Avenue (G-Riv to the locals :P :P).

We dined at Noodles & Company, which is decidedly our favorite cuisine ever.

We loved it so much that we couldn't help but make Lance take this picture of us standing by the wall. We affectionately refer to it as 'the awkward pose.'

Yesterday afternoon marked the beginning of Lansing's folk music festival. Haley and I danced our hearts out to some Cajun band while Lance sat out like a stupid party pooper.

Haley needed to take a picture of her feet so we will never forget how gross they were. Also, she peed inside a giant bush.

Hanging around outside the Student Union.

And inside the bike racks.

I took this adorable one of Haley sitting on the edge of the green fountain in front of the library.

And then I joined her on the ledge. Something was funny here, though I don't remember what. Look at us laughing!

And finally, a walk through the botanical garden revealed to us that Littlefoot and company were wrong! The Tree Stars most certainly are not extinct. Here we are probably contracting some sort of disease as we show them all the truth.

In short, I bought a lot of cool new stuff and probably confirmed my descision to go there next year. And on the way, I had one of the best times I could ever hope for in a summer such as this.
Other than adventuring, I still work, write and read. And that's about it. Mad love to all my homies.

as always, she was late

2006-08-11T01:58:45Z

I got hit on by the same two guys three seperate times over the course of today. I think that means I sort of involuntarily entered a relationship.

They refer to me as 'Nut Girl.'

Oi! College Visit #1 tomorrow.

not much of this makes sense to me

2006-01-31T03:12:16Z

I just want to tell everyone that is all depressed and has the winter blahs that they really are awesome. I mean, hell, if you're reading this I think you're cool enough to be on my friends list (which actually outnumbers my friend-of list by far!) and if that's not a compliment, what is?

And as shitty as I feel right now, I honestly do know that it's gonna get better
For the same reason it's gonna be better for all of you
I mean, I'm sixteen! (And most of y'all are arouuuund the same age, I think)
Of course your life can get shitty when you're sixteen because most people you're around are sixteen too and when you're sixteen you're the most important person in the world and when you get a whole bunch of the most important people in the world together, things sort of explode and melt and the fallout is usually pretty toxic.

But it's gonna get better. I mean, sure when we leave high school, we'll no longer be around the most important people in the world, but I'd like to think that maybe there are people equally as awesome as everyone I know right now. It's hard to imagine a world where saying you're gonna drive through the heights at night doesn't evoke a generally racist image of gang fights and prostitution or one where 'soda' comes out of taps instead of pop or one where everyone you know doesn't live a stone's throw away from Giles Road.
But change is a good thing. A lot of us (sadly enough, I include msyelf in this demographic) can't wait to get out of this dump... er... town. And some of us (I think) plan on sticking around. Either way, the times they are a-changin' and the first one now will later be last. In short: if things are going shitty for you right now, they're gonna get better! I promise! I swear!

I posted a while ago about how I can think of a million terrible things about everyone I know. Well, you know what! I CAN THINK OF SO MANY MORE GOOD THINGS. And no matter how many people I 'dislike' (I can really only think of two people, most of you probably know who they are. No names.) I really can think of so many terrific things about people and it's mind boggling to see so many awesome people so depressed when there are so many good things about this world.
Sure there are birth defects and child abuse and FST homework and lung cancer and friends that die a week after their sixteenth birthday and all the autopsies come back inconclusive. But then there's those moments when you think of something hilarious that happened a billion years ago but you just start laughing uncontrollably and no one can figure out why, there's The Arcade Fire, there's opening those damn Date Match results and finding out everyone you know is an 85% match with Big Will, there's watching Mr. Hankinson use the little drinking fountain, there's the night before your essay is due and your whole class is AIMing their thesis to each other, there's Emily Grabinski's enigmatic laugh, there's the fact that several people I know actually listen to Hardcore music (so terrible that it's hilarious!). I could go on.

Not much of this makes sense to me

The river leaves run cold and dry

But it keeps me from swingin' tree to tree

And sometimes I'm too scared to even try

Hashing through the possibilities

They seem as endless as the sky

You seek the truth and the quiet breeze

But the air is too thin to reply

Well I know that's where I'll never be

Because I can see the summer's done

I try to let the river flow in and out of me

And pray I float the way I think I want

And pray I float at all

Distant notions of subtle residue

Cling to minds from our past

Tell us what is what and who makes who

But time's events move us too fast

Simple sentiments whisked away by anxious steel wool

Struggling to content ourselves with what we think best

That what makes happy of which we seem never full

Is actually more than plenty

Though it is already possessed

Well I know that's where I'll never be

Because I can see the summer's done

I try to let the river flow in and out of me

And pray I float the way I think I want

And pray I float at all

Not much of this makes sense to me

The river leaves run cold and dry

But it keeps me from swingin' tree to tree

And sometimes I'm too scared to even try

Utter confusion feigns clarity

Scattered delusion excuses destiny

It's never exactly how it appears to be

It’s too much for any of us who even try to see

Well I know that's where I'll never be

Because I can see the summer's done

I try to let the river flow in and out of me

And pray I float the way I think I want

And pray I float at all.

Apologies to the 4897597397973297597 different sources (friends' myspaces, search engines, etc.) I stole those from.

please don't walk all over me

2005-10-21T03:30:34Z

the best photo update you've ever seen in your life.

chances are, if i've known you a while, you're in one of these.

me (the girl one), in kindergarten, being a turkey. i like and identify with turkeys because they
have beaks and colorful feathers.

katie lawrence and i, bein' girl scouts. (at age 7ish)

katie l being a girl scout with michelle (probably that same day)

this is not fake! i'm the one with the whale shorts pulled up to my armpits. i played some bball in my day.

my sixth birthday party. the only one i recognize in this pic is fellow trustee nina hiding behind some biggg glasses.

me, being twelve.

me, being in one of those creepy glamour shot things that no kindergartener really needs ever.

my sister julia, in one of her more intelligent moments.

kara and i, back when coats that made you look fat were cool.

this one (of kelli) is my favorite.

at chuck e. cheeses, being a kid with my mom.

okay... i'm gonna get this:
erin, alysia, kt, andrea, rachel, nicole, paige, christa, me, and some girl i don't know at my thirteenth birthday party.

alicia and i, best friends at age five.

andrea and i, who were convinced wearing pigtails would make you twins no matter what you looked like.

jessica, mommy, me, and cayla dressing up.

me and some babies, chillin'. (i'm the fat one.)

rachel's thirteenthish birthday party. that was apparently my thirteenth bday party sweatshirt.
(l to r) jess♥, rachel, haley (up), kelsey (cutest pic ever of her, down), erin, ashley, lauren, FEM (best pic EVURRR), kara (same), rebecca, julie, ME (the ham)

me, dressing up pretty.

me (baby) mackin' on daddy.

the only picture of ktl i could find.

AND alysia, what a lovemuffin.

WHURR R PICS OF JENNANANANANA, katie e, and erin????? ihad an amazing one of ms. edgar, but it ran away for fear of being shown.

so much nostalgia i can hardly stand it.
don't you wish you'd been a childhood playmate of me?

u r my fantise
so it's public. :P

wak her up wen septembur ends

2005-10-18T01:46:14Z

MY AMERICAN IDOL.

Yeah, I've stooped to making fun of those who probably have learning disabilities and still manage to be put in positions where America is expected to 'idolize' them. But it's not like she can read me doing it.
UPDATE::::
SHE WROTE A BOOK! ILLITERATE BITCH HAS A BOOK DEAL AND WROTE A BOOK THAT WILL BE PUBLISHED AND SOLD TO PEOPLE WHO PAID MONEY TO READ THE WORDS FANTASIA CANNOT. SHE WROTE A MOTHERFUCKING BOOK. SHE HAS A MOTHERFUCKING BOOK DEAL AND I DO NOT HAVE A BOOK DEAL. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

**guess this one'll be public for a while, by REQUEST. tell all your friends**

ready to fall

2005-09-06T01:33:15Z

ALL WE HAVE IS NOW.
all we'll ever have is now

callingapathy @ 2005-08-25T22:01:00

2005-08-26T02:01:40Z

friends cut.
sorry.

alternately, if you feel you need to read my journal, comment here and tell me why. if i understand, you're SO added.